Judging others

“She’s Asian, must be a nerd.”

“His body is covered with tattoos, must be a rebel.”

How many times do we find ourselves judging and labeling people? We dare to judge people before we even get to meet them, or even strangers we will never talk to. Often times it is involuntary, automatic. I am confident that many of us don’t do it on purpose, but why are we so judgemental?

Humans are visual and our brains work super fast. We process multiple information before we absorb them with all of our senses. It’s like we have a limited database in our minds, that have this will to relate every single thing or person we see to something we know, or believe we know. For instance, “I’ve read somewhere or know someone who is Asian and smart, so naturally I will generalize every Asian I see and label them as such.” Of course I am being very extreme here, but I just wanted to illustrate with this popular example, clichet I admit.

The reason I am writing this is because I am judgemental myself, and I’ve been working on this, especially because as a life coach, the first requirement is to be non-judgemental. Actually, let’s say I was very judgemental until a few years ago, when I had no idea how harmful that was, not only to the innocent strangers or celebrities I commented about, but to myself. 

Because when one judges, one is putting himself on top of the object of judgment. Moreover, it’s a way of depreciating one another, based on poor judgement and stereotypes. The truth is, when we stop for a moment and think of the reasons behind our attitudes, it only proves the lack of confidence we have on ourselves, and I risk to say that it has to do with pride as well. 
Why so? Because it’s easy to hide our flaws and point at other people’s, isn’t it? Because we humans are competitive and envious by nature. Instead of admitting that we admire someone or wish we had the courage to do something the other person has done, what do we do? We criticize, we judge, we compare. 

I’d like to propose we think of someone we had criticized or commented negatively. Let’s be reasonable and not think of bad politicians, criminals or people who harm babies and animals. I am talking about people we usually judge regarding looks, harmless behavior, taste, etc.

Why do you feel such way towards him/her? Why do you even bother to talk about this person that might not even know of your existance? Why do you feel good about bad-mouthing this person? 

I think this is an extensive topic, worthy of further discussion. That’s it for now, hope you enjoy the reading. 

See you next time!

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